zwolf's haiku page...

hatred on my head
ten dollars and sixteen cents
too much for a hat

slide down bannister
I did not see the splinter
ow ow ow ow ow

ha, caught you smoking
you better give me candy
or I will tell mom

hang out on the corner
between fingers, disappear
darling eye-booger

feel sick and sluggish
behold the power of cheese
Pepto will vanquish

a circus danger
mighty blare like the tuba
big elephant gas

for page after page
blah blah and still more blah blah
I hate Henry James

here it is tranquil
the fortress of solitude
made of couch cushions

petals fall like snow
leaves point down instead of up
should have watered it

one foot, then the other
this is the dance we all do
when we have to pee

turn out all the lights
maybe he will go away
Jehovah's Witness

I put devil horns
on Mister Potato Head
to scare my sister

hit the ball, chase it
wearing funny clownish pants
golfing is for fools

Bush is president
drop pants, wave flag, fire rocket
hooray oh hooray

grandma sleeping sound
I put toothpaste in her hair
I am not so smart

no, not amusing
you know no one is impressed
please replace your pants 

I still like Xena
I am obsessed with the show
I also like poo
I am so very clean
so clean you could eat off me
if you have ten bucks

stick in my brain
mathematics of damnation
haiku you are mean

transcendental gems
garden of wiggly flowers
Jello, I praise thee

stupid scientist
Preparation H in space
curing asteroids

step into the cloud
because elevators are
a good place to fart

said the alphabet
I am three and so clever
give me a cookie

don't let him trick you
Uncle Billy Bob did it
dog is not guilty

I hate broccoli
it tastes just like toilet grout
don't ask how I know

this must be heaven
I get to be the monkey
in my private zoo

remote is missing
not behind sofa cushions
you took it from me

where are the missiles
weapons of mass destruction
our leaders scam us

geographic myth
Vermont is not a real state
Wyoming either

you there in the box
two dozen jelly doughnuts
get in my belly

beans before auction
bid on an antique table